ready to wwww

more fall ready to wear

(vivienne westwood, viktor & rolf)

one of the reasons i started CLASS was to try to be transparent around my experiences doing wildness... and since wildness has more or less turned into a movie, i feel equally compelled to make THIS process transparent. i haven't been able to do that as much recently cause i've been caught up in the DOING of everything - mostly editing & fundraising on crazy deadlines - that i haven't had much time to reflect. but now that we've reached our 12K kickstarter goal (less than 48 hours to go!!!!), i feel the gravity of this moment as both momentum and weight. periodically i try to FULLY take time out in order to check myself about what's at stake (and spent the last 2 weeks in san francisco retreating THINKING and taking care) so ready to do that now.

the main question for me continues to be what does this MOVIE form do to creative process... in other words how does story-telling for sit-down audiences in dark theaters require serious skill at conventions (or manipulating them). 

on one hand i feel deeply responsible to several social issues- mainly the intense struggles of trans/gender-variant people worldwide, and the strategic importance of centering our movement on the most vulnerable members of our community- in our case, undocumented trans folks and therefore in LA, the latin american context. mobilizing people's HUMANITY (documentary ta da!) can actually be a badass means to an end- like to represent more radical possibilites for the LGBT movement, and if a movie can do that, I SAY YES !

on the other hand, i'm totally restistant to that whole illusion of objectivity thing, and the sacrifice of complexity that documentary requires. to become truly skilled at it, it kind of changes your brain- makes you look at things like: how can i make everyone and everything look/sound a certain way, so i can say what i want?

the reason why this negotiation matters so much is that it shapes the movie, and the form ultimately determines who and how many people might want to watch it... and given that my subject is both fragile and important (to me & community) - it continues to be a fine line between raising conciousness versus exposure.

so i find myself somewhere in the middle,

possibly had a major breakthrough tonight working with my editors suzanne mejean and kaliisa conlon (!!!) which made me stop trippin about which way documentary. basically we discovered how to represent something super basic, essential, and epically complex about wildness, through a performance by ariel prodigy (left). it was one of those moments where i could really appreciate what a blessing it is to be able to WORK on something for so long that you are no longer actually LIVING with it. just when you think you can't eak any more meaning out of it, you realize you can finally SEE it, instead of yourself... or something? yea it's late... so excited to see how this spins everything around!!!! see u on the other side ;)

kickstarter success!

Dearest Friends,

It is our greatest pleasure to inform you that, sometime around 5am this morning, we passed our Kickstarter finishing mark at $12,126!!! WE ARE NOW GUARANTEED FUNDING!

It took 37 days & 216 supporters, and thanks to EVERYONE we totally DID IT - we are now fully on our path to finishing DAMELO TODO by the end of this year! Thank you SO MUCH for hearing our urgency and making it RAIN with your dollars. This is truly a moment to say that we could NOT have done it without each and every one of you!

Special shout out to those of you who pledged early, in the middle, and at the end - together we created a tidal wave of momentum! Extra special thanks to the many folks who reposted, blogged, and whispered into ears about our efforts, and WOW to those of you who gave over $100!! ALL of your combined resources had a super powerful effect. And last but not least, MEGA thanks to the 85 PERCENT of you who pledged $100 or under!!! Your unbelievably generous offerings (whether it was a dollar or x10) were the BACKBONE of this operation. In other words in a nutshell, this is a COLLECTIVE THANK YOU WAHOO TO EVERYONE!!!

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it's fake

three words:

ready. to. wear.

(chanel F2010 RTW)

LA art world

the art world was all agog last weekend about ryan trecartin's us premier 7-part movie installation "ANY EVER" at MOCA... it was a creme crop over at the pacific design center, and then afterwards things got foolish in the heated pool chez jeffery deitch... according to ARTFORUM, los angeles of late is both a "nonplace" and "the place to be" so go figure. anywayz she just moved back to town, so excited to expand the nest! brilliance.

holay versace

 

gaultier ay ay aya

(barbara palvin in numéro - from FGR)

endless editing part 2

the damelo todo editing marathon continues!

(another implausible but true scenario: wu in lawyer drag)

(trying to help koky puzzle out gonzalo's disputed will)

(which led to his disinheritance and consequently ended wildness etc etc)

i had a sweet inspiring phone sesh tonight with an old friend/artist/fontgenius edie fake who is designing titles... i like his holistic approach- instead of asking for visuals references, he said: "i want to read everything everyone ever said about how the bar looks and feels" forttttuuuunately i have been collecting!!! just thought i'd share here ;)

WHEN YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES AND PICTURE THE INSIDE OF THE SILVER PLATTER WHAT DO YOU SEE?

"That (cash) machine, which is pretty old, almost 40 years."

"The image that comes to my mind is the first time I came to this place. When I started coming, and I'm still coming. I feel comfortable here. Happy because this is a place where I come and I feel good. A place where I can have fun, and place where I know that I'm safe."

"When I'm inside, what I like is that me and my friends start drinking. They pay or we pay for each others drinks. And many guys are looking at us. And one them will come to us and ask us to dance. And then we drink and we have fun and dance. And at the end maybe he will take me to his apartment, or I will take him to mine."

"My idea of this place when I’m outside are the images of Marilyn, those mirrors, you know, these things, the bar’s frame…"

"That's who comes to mind. Marilyn. That's the first thing that you see when you arrive."

"Perhaps because he's not here anymore, Gonzalo. Now that he's not here anymore, and because he's something special to me, my friend. Now every time I hear Silver Platter, I think of him."

"My brother in law, Roy. His face, I can close my eyes and see him dancing from one side of the bar to the other. Snapping his fingers. He had a beautiful way of snapping his fingers. His jokes, his charisma."

"Fog and lights... Crazy lights and sequins... Disco ball and high heels, fingernails, hair twisting and turning and head-banging.  Fists going through walls... Thongs, a lot of thongs. Marilyn Monroe. James Dean. A dick on the wall. Kimonos. Koky's ass. Cowboy hats..."

WHEN YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES AND PICTURE THE OUTSIDE OF THE SILVER PLATTER WHAT DO YOU SEE?

"When I walk by and I see the place it brings back a lot of memories. Memories because I've met boyfriends here, girlfriends, the waiters, the bar-tenders. Koky, Nora, Julio, Javier. So you know a lot of people. So when I look at it from outside, I feel something beautiful. I say wow, that's my home. This is my house, it's something very beautiful."

"The color that it has always been painted. A silver-like color."

"From outside the bar, the fights that they have outside." (laughs)

"People that are not here anymore. That they're gone."

"Waiting for a nice boy to arrive. He talks to me, I talk to him, and I flirt with him, and if he asks me out, so - "yes!" If I like him, and he's attractive and all that. So it's worth it to go out with him. Taking the risks that might be involved also. But it's worth it, and one has to see how he behaves too."

hit list

so today they released the name of the person responsible for compiling the "hit list" of 1,300 suspected illegal immigrants, which was sent to the ICE and media last week. her name is teresa bassett, and she worked in the utah state department of workforce services (hey cali = EDD, unemployment etc) the list includes the names of family members and their children, and the due dates of women who are pregnant.

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endless editing

WEDNESDAY

GROWN - DINNER HOUSE M - 1263 West Temple Street - 10PM TIL WHENEVS

pass it along

there are a number of places where you can follow the controversy about RODARTE's new cosmetics line with MAC that is inspired by JUAREZ, Mexico. mainly i've been reading RACEWIRE. this is the most chilling fucked up example i have seen in a really long time about how wrong race politics can get in fashion. i'm catching up a little, but according to a style.com review of F/W 2010 RTW:

Before their show, the sisters explained that a long drive from El Paso to Marfa, Texas, got them thinking they might like to explore their Mexican roots. From there, they became interested in the troubled border town of Ciudad Juárez; the hazy, dreamlike quality of the landscape there; and the maquiladora workers going to the factory in the middle of the night. And that, according to the designers, who certainly know how to romance a pitch, led to this conclusion: They'd build a collection off the idea of sleepwalking. 

dreamlike quality? maquiladora.

so now this new collection of MAC cosmetics expand this concept to deathly/pale/bloody eyeshadows and blushes with names like "Juarez" "Factory" and "Ghost town."

both RODARTE & MAC have issued apologies, promising that they will donate SOME (???) of the proceeds to helping fight the devastating violence in Juarez and according to MAC "We are diligently investigating the best way to do this."

i mean, you can read about this everywhere, so i will leave it at that. but this information NEEDS to be shared and some, um CRITICAL THOUGHT would be awesome coming from EVERYONE in the fashion industry at this moment. thanks

a message from the makers of damelo todo

totally nerdy but forreals yall!!

GROWN DINING ROOM: EVERY FIRST WEDNESDAY OF THE MONTH

NO GROWN DINNERS FOR THE NEXT 3 WEEKS (i'm traveling)

TOTAL FREEDOM & WU TSANG  PRESENT:

GROWN DINING ROOM

FIRST WEDNESDAYS OF EVERY MONTH

FULL DINNER MENU & LIVE PERFORMANCE BY RESIDENT SIREN SONJI KIMMONS

1263 West Temple Street, 9PM - 1AM

also check out this OUTFEST event! SATURDAY JULY 17th, 5PM @ DGA2
Trans-Politics Then and Now: From QUEENS AT HEART to BELLA MADDO
followed by a panel discussion featuring Bamby Salcedo, Drian Juarez, Kalil Cohen, Janice Danielle & moderated by Riku Matsuda!!!

race

today was another marathon of pickup shooting in macarthur park for damelo todo... and time is of the essence cause we're closing in on a new rough cut (aaaand my producer kathy rivkin is cutting me off! no more shooting after friday waaaah ok i get it). i'm trying to create a visual narrative about the neighborhood of silver platter without being too heavy handed- beacuse at the same time, for many of the folks seeing this movie, they will not know the nuances of the amazingness of macarthur park, so i have to figure out a way to REPRESENT it- which is like my most dreaded, and most compelling challenge about this project.

anyways i'm learning a lot from my director of photography michelle lawler- who is a seasoned doc maker and shooter- about how to create establishing shots, ie stuff we may have no personal connection to but that LOOKS like some of the major ideas we're trying to convey about the environment (race class ethnicity economics history etc etc etc). i tend to be suuuper uncomfortable with what thinking like this does to my brain, but we settled on a compromise of making portraits of the storefronts all the major labor/rad orgs in the neighborhood: UCLA LABOR, SEIU, CHIRLA, CARACEN, Opportunidad, Asian Pacific Legal Center, etc. hopefully that mixed with money shots of sunset skylines will do the trick ;)

trans law

i've been thinking a lot lately about what it really means to be working with trans communities & the LAW. both LGL and the movie are related, and most other things that excite me lately have to have to do with this general zone...

i had a super impactful conversation the other day with my friend vera miao (artist actor queer woman of color extraordaire who also haaaapens to be a no bullshit non-profit managment consultant) about this exact subject. vera was feeding back with me about IMPRENTA organizing (the space the legal clinic etc) and she offered up some words that kind of made everything crystal clear. i can't remember exaaactly what she said, but it was something to the effect of summarizing trans legal issues. she said, "basically what you are dealing with, is the the most oppressed brutalized marginalized population being acted upon by the most repressive arm of the state (ie the prison system, the police, the ICE, the government etc- especially since 9/11). so just know that you will always be one step away from total crisis." and i was all, "OOHHHHHHH." right. that's why it feels so intense all the time. thank you vera, for helping me to have that frame. just wanted to share it with yall ;)

and now, that i've used up my last brain cell, just wanetd to share some of the other things i got excited about this week...

CONTRE BLACK @ mustache last monday (holy shiiiiit

more dysfunctional jean pockets

recent video by zackary drucker at the ORIGINAL PLUMBING outfest release party last night !!!

outfest in general HELLOO so central to my scheduuule right now. places to be people !! absolutely everyone is hangin around ie TRACY CHAPMAN um what.

on the outfest tip here are two of my favorite people in the whole world !!! at the inspiring good feelings OP event as well... mariana marroquin (actress, genius, diva, associate producer on damelo todo lalala...) & raquel gutierrez (performer, genius, writer/performer on damelo todo) mariana did a FIERCE new version of the ongoing live romantic comedy COSA RARA directed by raquel's troupe butchlalis de panochtitlan. psst heres a dish- mariana plays HERSELF ;)

another favorite person and glamorous to-do this week: ryan trecartin opening at moca. also GO SEE rj messineo at steve turner gallery for seriously queer art


no visual for this one but how about ashley love's upcoming panel july 15 called WOMEN DEMANDING CHANGE NOW: THE DEHUMANIZING MISREPRESENTATION OF TRANSSEXUAL WOMEN THROUGH THE GAY MALE HOLLYWOOD LENS ?? um i say yes

finally back to the original thing - mia yamamoto is speaking about trans legal issues at the ONE glbt archives on july 18th BE THERE. daaamn she is so hot i dream about her. aaand that's right after outer space journey to M.I.A. at hardfest to see asma maroof who is now officially en orbit... will report back on all fer sure

on track

look at these cuties: NGUZUNGUZU producing a RYE RYE song for the new A-TEAM movie... um, what?
ps - MIA's new album (+ ngu mixtape) is about to drop ! craaazy like letterman show style

ALSO suuuper psyched today about all this amzing outreach for DAMELO TODO kickstarter!!!

WORLD OF WONDER

INDIE WIRE

CHICAGO READER

SPACE 1520

CREME TEAM

home stretcccchhhhh

crap! sorry for the slow down in posts i've been so friggin busy- we are in our LAST week of shooting pickups for damelo todo, our OUTFEST teaser screening is this FRIDAY, aaaand we are less than $1500 away from our HALFWAY mark of kickstarter !!!

TONIGHTS GROWN MENU

MAINS

2 pork sliders with pickled green tomatoes 

green garlic & scallion crepes with beet-ginger glaze

market fried rice with pulled chicken thighs

spicy fried green beans with black sesame mayo

pickle plate

AFTER

peach pie with tequila infused cream

SPECIALS

steak & cheese on brioche toast

black beans & curtido (red slaw) with seared jalapeno

what to wear to outfest gala tomorrow night?? see you der

happy belated sylvia rivera & in memory of marsha p

 

HAPPY BELATED SYLVIA RIVERA (BORN JULY 2, 1951)

& IN MEMORY OF MARSHA P JOHNSON (DIED JULY 6, 1992)

i wanted to post this yesterday but i could get access to da innnnternnnettttttt.......

writing by marsha p

(VIA DEAN DADERKO VIA GODDESS BUNNY) 

Spare Some Change For A Dying Queen

Can you spare any change for a dying queen dar—ling? I mean I am dying. I know you don’t believe me. But I know what I’m talking about. Yes I do. Us queens know what we’re talking about because we’re for liberation, yes we are.

Look at the Stonewall. When I first came to New York all pressed and clean in a white shirt and tie what my mother bought me I heard about the Stonewall so I thought I’d go over and check it out and LORD! Men are dancing with men and one more gorgeous than another and way in the back were my sisters, honey turning it out in gold lame and wigs for days.

So I was hanging out in the Stonewall one night talking to Miss June, who was feeling low and nodding out on downs when she looked up at me and said, “Them pigs come in here tonight they better stay off my motherfuckin’ case.”

And she was right cause we wasn’t bothering nobody just hanging out and being ourselves when don’t you know sure enough the whistle done blew and in they come pushing and shoving everyone just like a bunch of pigs and ain’t nobody said nothing cause in them days if you was gay you didn’t say you was gay

So they’re pushing and shoving and nobody said nothing til them came to the queens then this pig comes up and gave Miss June one slap knocked her down ripped her dress and scratched her face.

Now Darling, anybody will tell you that a queen is sort of soft hearted, easy going person who you can sort of shove around but Darling let me tell you this. There are two things you cannot do to a queen.

One. You cannot rip a queen’s dress.

And Two…Don’t you ever, never touch the face honey…Well Miss June got up screaming and yelling when this pig goes to hit her again so I said "Hey, why don’t you leave her alone she ain’t bothering nobody.” And he turned to me and said, “Shut up you sick faggot.”

Now Darling, You can call me a lot of things, you can call me a queer, a  cocksucker, or a crazy fool, but ain’t nobody got no right to call me a piece of wood. That’s right, a piece of wood. I looked it up one day and it was right there in the Webster’s a faggot is a piece of wood. And Darling I ain’t no piece of wood and I was telling Miss Pig this when he came to knock me, then Miss June picked up a chair and swung it and everybody started screaming and fighting and queens was getting their faces scratched honey and you know what that meant.

And the next thing I know we all wound up in the Tombs……..again.

Them pigs done busted up our fun, busted our heads and just plain old busted us. But that was O.K., honey. Yes it was because that was the beginning of gay liberation in New York and in the world. Yes it was.

And now everybody done forgot who done what and why and how and you know, sometimes when I pass one of them gay bars where I see my brothers or sisters having a good time and turning it out in all their liberated glory and I see hanging right over that bar a sign what says “No Drunks, No dogs, No drags.”Can you imagine comparing me to a dog? Well honey, I just want to break right down.

But I just pay it no mind, that’s right darling, cause once you 86 me I tip and once I tip I stay tipped. And they can 86 me out of every gay bar in the village. And they can 86 me out of every gay bar in New York. And honey, they can 86 me out of every gay bar in the world and I pay it no mind because I got my friends.

Yes I do, and I do know who my friends are. My friends are people who love their gay sisters and brothers including the queens. My friends are people who got change to spare. And my friends are people who smile at me and understand when I say Can you spare any change for a dying queen, Dar—ling?

So they next time you’re in one of them bars what has that sign, “no drunks, no dogs, no drags” the next time you see them turning out one of my gay brothers or sisters Honey, you just dig real deep down into your pocket and take some of that change you’re saving for your cold beers and your hot dogs and get over yourself andspare some change for a dying queen………dar—ling.

*i just updated this post because i confused dates earlier (they are now corrected ;)

richer

(love fake jean things of all kinds - especially w working pockets!)

holy shit- i'm exhausted!
not much to report except the movie- which is at this point a 24/7 operation... shooting pickups, editing, and fundraising day in, day out. that's it. super thrilled that our kickstarter is TWENTY SEVEN percent funded!!! 29 days to go!!! got faith.

also two movement-related things i got excited about recently!
SUSPECT is a new group of queer and trans migrants, Black people, people of color and allies whose aim is to monitor the effects of hate crimes debates and to build communities which are free from violence in all its interpersonal and institutional forms. (re: judith bulter refusing berlin pride award citing racism)

AND FINALLY! SOMEONE MADE A WEALTH CALCULATOR.
this is so fucking amahmazing!!!!
at the height of my wealth, 5 years ago, i was making about 35,000 a year cutting film negative at a big movie post house - turns out at 35G i'm in the top 4.6% of the richest people in the world. what's amazing, is that even now, although my income feels SRSLY less than that, i'm still in the top 10%. try it - possibly a transformative tool to start conversations with friends about wealth, not being anxious about having it, resisting capitalism etc. ALSO a problem, is that there is no way to factor in inheritance and other forms of stored wealth, which obvz majorly changes the numbers. it's a common thing i see: people feeling "broke" in their everyday lives- but it's a very different kind of broke when we know there are sums of money or property etc looming in the future...
(thanks to enough for sharing!)

so DAMELO TODO.
i am working on a new interview with my friend tanya* who is young (baby 20!), from honduras. i wanted to share a chunk of interview, to give a sense of how meaningful things can be in their entirety, in the realtime, and therefore all the more difficult to EDIT. but we got a movie to make so inevitably a story to tell... this part of the process is so so important to me.

Mariana: When you close your eyes what do you see when you picture the Silver Platter?
Tanya: Waiting for a nice boy to arrive. He talks to me, I talk to him, and I flirt with him, and if he asks me out, so- "yes!" If I like him, and he's attractive and all that. So it's worth it to go out with him. Taking the risks that might be involved also. But it's worth it, and one has to see how he behaves too.
M: So the first image when you close your eyes is seeing a man walking towards you?
T: Yes. Or he would drive by and say hi. Or calling me.
M: How does that make you feel?
T: Stronger.
M: When you're inside, close your eyes and tell me when you see when you think about being in the bar.
T: When I'm inside, what I like is that me and my friends start drinking. They pay or we pay for each others drinks. And many guys are looking at us. And one them will come to us and ask us to dance. And then we drink and we have fun and dance. And at the end maybe he will take me to his apartment, or I will take him to mine.
M: In comparison to how you felt in Honduras is there a difference in the way you feel now? Is there a big difference inside the Silver Platter?
T: Very much so. What I haven't felt in Honduras, I felt here. I feel more freedom. Despite the fact that I'm by myself because I have no family here. So yes, I feel more freedom. I feel like here, I am with my family despite not having it. But I do feel like I'm with my family. I'm in a good mood, I'm always happy. More daring.
M: Making plans for the future?
T: Yes, making plans. I know I will accomplish it.
M: Why?
T: Because that's what I'm here for. I don't want to go back to my country, and not have accomplished what I set for myself to accomplish. Get there and be the same person? No. I don't want that. And I know I will accomplish that. So when I get there all my friends will say, "Wow she got back from there and she accomplished this and that. She is fun," And I know that when I get there, all my family will be there with me. Because they will see what I have accomplished.
M: Including your dad?
T: Yeah, including him. And I have a hope that yes, I have changed. I changed a lot. Despite being here, lately he's been calling me more often. I think he will change and he will accept me. Because in the same way that my mom and my grandmother accepted me, I know he can too. And it doesn't matter what people say. What's important is how he feels and what he sees in me.

*name changed.