COLOR TIME

AND WE ARE LOCKED!

final voices

recording final voiceover with mariana marroquin and robbie williamson!! ...usually as a performer I use my voice to create these weird out of body experiences (like we did for FBQ) but with voiceover acting it's kinda the opposite- its all about expressing emotion/intention, because it is already disembodied. i had to learn a little stanislavsky to get it right..! sensory/memory tricks really WORK iiee

today is the LAST day editing wildness. i never thought i'd see this 'punch list' get down to a couple pages- but here we are! after today we can't change so much as a FRAME (because that screws up all finishing stuff like soundtrack scoring color correction sound mixing etc). it feels soooo weird, given how long i've battled having a fixed story that was set in stone or pixles or whatever. = THE NARRATIVE. the frozen moment. yikes.

i just worked with a really helpful finishing editor, sally rubin. she showed me how to do fine-cutting: tweaking picture/sound, adding 2-frame dissolves so it's smoother on the eye, etc. all the little unconscious manipulations that sew the story into air-tight truth...

given the mess of tiny misplaced frames and sound cues, it seemed crazy, but we decided to completely REDO THE ENDING - two days before picture lock! basically the old ending was bitter-sweet and ambivalent; it left you feeling sad about what happened to wildness, but not necessarily sure if it was a good thing or not. all the characters kind of stray away, disconnected from one another... but now, by simply rearranging and tweaking a few interview clips we completely changed it to be unambiguously about wildness ending = SAD. for example we included a voice of one of the women of the silver platter saying "we miss wildness. we need it..." combined with a few nostalgic shots of birthday cakes and BOOM you actually FEEL loss.

on some level it felt INSANE to create this ending because it goes against all the complexity i'm invested in - but in a different way i GET how it's a way more powerful satisfying experience for the viewers. and thus can cast a different kind of spell or transform conciousnessss

so in the end this movie is about an art party that took place inside a safe space for undocumented trans women in a gentrifying neighborhood. i've learned from test screenings and festival programmers that some people (liberal and conservative) want this film to be "about" the women of the silver platter, whose stories are so-called "more real" or "edgy" (PLS SAVE ME from that word). i decided against that story, because it felt too problematic given my role as the filmmaker, and the weird labyrinth that is the film industry, ie what it takes to "get your movie out there."

the flipside ends up being a mirror/personal focus story, which i'm finding really rubs some people the wrong way. so this new ending definitely pushes the film fully in that direction. it feels scary but also like i need to go all the way in owning it, emotional honesty, etc and take whatever comes with that...

bending time

right now makes my life up until this moment seem like i was on vacation... 

DAYS away from wildness picture lock = WARP SPEED

i went to a little film screening recently, that stuart comer invited us to fritz haeg's home in LA after nyes.
i can't stop thinking about this early psychedelic film by john latham it looked like this: 

the actual frames of film looked like that! early-mid 70s yes yes 

i also liked the sound-music-scores of the italian guy paolozzi

tomorrow morning is a interview mag shoot. i'm going to dream they put balenciaga on my feet:

coloring

FULL BODY QUOTATION TELECINE

wildness update

tada! wildness movie poster ;) by carl williamson & ian crowther of familiar

i know it's crazy we are STILL working on wildness, but at this moment i'd say we're getting... VERY CLOSE! going through one final re-write of the script with roya rastegar and translation by claudia rodriguez.

we did a super mixed test screening a couple weeks ago (finally digesting) with film people, investors, community members, wildness participants, all together in one room. it kinda stressed me out beforehand because i was worried about speaking to everyone on all their important different wavelengths at the same time, but it turned out to be a magical combo cause we got some very productive feedback.

the main issue is my character ;) who we've started referring to as WU in 3rd person. (i know creepy!) but if i objectify everyone else in the story why not myself... so anyway, some people either thought there was too much of me or not enough - ie that my character didn't "pay off"- as they love to say. which initially threw me for a loop- like WELL which way is it?? cause it can't be both...

but then i realized it needed to make it more clear that this story is not about me. my character is like a vehicle. at the beginning, the bar says it's a story told "through" me (did i mention there is a 'TALKING' BAR?? the Silver Platter is a character that talks!!) so my personal biography (ie family, being trans or mixed race etc) which always felt weird and TMI, were actually just misleading. people always want to hear a story about gay/trans/X/misfits finding a place to belong. and that was exactly NOT the story i wanted to tell. so we are still working at it.

i was also reminded the original decision to make me a main character was about trying to have more complexity, like consolidating my identity = HELLO FOLLOW ME. it actually opened things up and allowed for more voices and stories. it also felt critical to have to put myself out front and be vulnerable in a way that the rest of my subjects already are. so i'm glad we went through that process of putting WU to task, and are now are pulling back a little from there... i AM going a little crazy though. i do now talk to myself aloud, especially when writing dialog between me and the BAR (who are both me)...

recutting the intro right now; it's all about twi light light

YES LA IS THAT REAL

the BAR talks!!!

LA now