Jul 1, 2010


(love fake jean things of all kinds - especially w working pockets!)

holy shit- i'm exhausted!
not much to report except the movie- which is at this point a 24/7 operation... shooting pickups, editing, and fundraising day in, day out. that's it. super thrilled that our kickstarter is TWENTY SEVEN percent funded!!! 29 days to go!!! got faith.

also two movement-related things i got excited about recently!
SUSPECT is a new group of queer and trans migrants, Black people, people of color and allies whose aim is to monitor the effects of hate crimes debates and to build communities which are free from violence in all its interpersonal and institutional forms. (re: judith bulter refusing berlin pride award citing racism)

this is so fucking amahmazing!!!!
at the height of my wealth, 5 years ago, i was making about 35,000 a year cutting film negative at a big movie post house - turns out at 35G i'm in the top 4.6% of the richest people in the world. what's amazing, is that even now, although my income feels SRSLY less than that, i'm still in the top 10%. try it - possibly a transformative tool to start conversations with friends about wealth, not being anxious about having it, resisting capitalism etc. ALSO a problem, is that there is no way to factor in inheritance and other forms of stored wealth, which obvz majorly changes the numbers. it's a common thing i see: people feeling "broke" in their everyday lives- but it's a very different kind of broke when we know there are sums of money or property etc looming in the future...
(thanks to enough for sharing!)

i am working on a new interview with my friend tanya* who is young (baby 20!), from honduras. i wanted to share a chunk of interview, to give a sense of how meaningful things can be in their entirety, in the realtime, and therefore all the more difficult to EDIT. but we got a movie to make so inevitably a story to tell... this part of the process is so so important to me.
Mariana: When you close your eyes what do you see when you picture the Silver Platter?
Tanya: Waiting for a nice boy to arrive. He talks to me, I talk to him, and I flirt with him, and if he asks me out, so- "yes!" If I like him, and he's attractive and all that. So it's worth it to go out with him. Taking the risks that might be involved also. But it's worth it, and one has to see how he behaves too.
M: So the first image when you close your eyes is seeing a man walking towards you?
T: Yes. Or he would drive by and say hi. Or calling me.

M: How does that make you feel?
T: Stronger.
M: When you're inside, close your eyes and tell me when you see when you think about being in the bar.
T: When I'm inside, what I like is that me and my friends start drinking. They pay or we pay for each others drinks. And many guys are looking at us. And one them will come to us and ask us to dance. And then we drink and we have fun and dance. And at the end maybe he will take me to his apartment, or I will take him to mine.
M: In comparison to how you felt in Honduras is there a difference in the way you feel now? Is there a big difference inside the Silver Platter?
T: Very much so. What I haven't felt in Honduras, I felt here. I feel more freedom. Despite the fact that I'm by myself because I have no family here. So yes, I feel more freedom. I feel like here, I am with my family despite not having it. But I do feel like I'm with my family. I'm in a good mood, I'm always happy. More daring.
M: Making plans for the future?
T: Yes, making plans. I know I will accomplish it.
M: Why?
T: Because that's what I'm here for. I don't want to go back to my country, and not have accomplished what I set for myself to accomplish. Get there and be the same person? No. I don't want that. And I know I will accomplish that. So when I get there all my friends will say, "Wow she got back from there and she accomplished this and that. She is fun," And I know that when I get there, all my family will be there with me. Because they will see what I have accomplished.
M: Including your dad?
T: Yeah, including him. And I have a hope that yes, I have changed. I changed a lot. Despite being here, lately he's been calling me more often. I think he will change and he will accept me. Because in the same way that my mom and my grandmother accepted me, I know he can too. And it doesn't matter what people say. What's important is how he feels and what he sees in me.
*name changed.

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